Self-love is more than masturbation
I believe your poetry could make me fall in love again.
I believe this because sitting in a pitch of sand I pictured
ten boys on low riders wheeling themselves into the lake
mouths open;
the lemmings you spoke about
who sacrifice to show love.
You say this is possible:
That something would crash to the rocks
just to tell us
we are beautiful.
Shane, I could make your words my moon
hang a sign above my bed
that says
You are beautiful
until I start telling dog walkers
or the woman in front of me in the grocery store aisle
You are beautiful.
I believe your poetry could make me fall in love again
because I left your show so hot with metaphor
that I had to break into the sprinklers of Central Technical High School
with a blue-eyed boy I'd just met
until my dress clung white to my chest
and we didn't even kiss.
Just walked with the heat of one another
until I arrived home dry and laughing
falling back in love with my life.
Because while I have no divining rod for love that will lead me
no abacus to count the likelihood that certain sentiments + certain circumstances
= that inexplicable flooding, that drowning to a place you call Atlantis
I do have this:
Every seven years I am reborn
all my cells rekindled.
This is the genius of creation:
We are given chances. Upon chances.
Even now the fabric of my heart builds new capacity.
Which means that yesterday is no more than real than tomorrow
and today isn't even something I can hold to.
We are oceans, we are storm clouds
we are constantly in motion.
And if yesterday, today and tomorrow are inexactitudes
then my body is a quantum universe of chance
and there is always a chance.
I believe your poetry could make me fall in love again
because somewhere in the space
between dream leaving your lips
and hope reaching my lobe
I forgot to believe in absolutes
and the basement you were shaking baritone
burst into a flock of applause
my blackbird shout circling the ovation
now carrion, now jay, now stool pigeon,
now macaw.
How basic
to remember
that our capacity for transformation
is no more, no less brilliant
than cloud becoming snow.